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Carpe Librum

Reviews and bookish conversation with author Samantha Wilcoxson.

If I am lost, you will find me in medieval England.

You can also find me - and my books - on my blog.

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Review: Love & Respect by Emerson Eggerichs

Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs - Emerson Eggerichs

This book seems to create strong feelings in all who read it. It certainly came to me highly recommended. My husband and I read this book along with the companion workbook with 4 other couples, and it was and arduous journey. For our group of Christian couples in happy marriages, there was just too much that did not apply to us. Sure, we each picked up a handy tip here and there, but it wasn't enough considering the length and repetitiveness of this book.

I agree with the basis of Eggerichs' main point in this book: If she gets the love she needs, she will give him the respect he needs, which will cause him to give her the love she needs. You get it - it's the cycle of love and respect. I gave it to you in one sentence instead of 24 chapters. If this book was about a third the length, I probably would have rated it at least 1-star higher.

Every time our group met after the first time, we felt like we were struggling to get something new out of what we had read. The workbook is even worse. The questions are extremely verbose restatements of what is already written in the chapters, and there are a lot of them. Each couple would need to invest a couple of hours into each session, only to feel like we were trudging through the same material each time.

We were also disappointed by the lack of scriptural references. Though the book is loosely based on Ephesians 5, the author rarely includes scripture in the chapters and more often uses letters from happy Love & Respect retreat participants as teaching tools. Our group was hoping for more Biblical discussion than what we got.

If your marriage needs work and you and your spouse have trouble supporting each other and understanding each other's point of view, this book may help you. If you are looking for a good small group discussion book for a group of happily married couples, I would urge you to pass. In fact, run away.